Well, I tried.
I did some editing and tried to use the new rules that I had learned from the “Prose Before Hoes” post, but as it turns out, learning how to write in a new style takes a lot of practice. Much longer than 2 days.
So I would say that it is going to take a lot more work but I can already tell that this exercise is going to help me tremendously.
Without further ado, here it is, the revised first chapter of my novel. The title of the book is “Absurdity; and the inevitable heat death of the Universe.
(It is a rough draft, please be gentle):
Street Spirit (Fade out) – Part 1
There it was in black and white, staring up at me from my phone’s partially shattered screen:
2:05pm March 20th, 2020.
That was the exact time that I was going to die.
That was only 2 months away! What the fuck could I do in 2 months? I was not supposed to know when I was going to die, it was preternatural. This was tormented information only given to those on death row. I didn’t deserve to be on death row, did I? The only laws I had broken were of time and reality; I am pretty sure there are no penal codes against that in San Diego County.
But what could I do? There were no appeals when objecting to fate.
The tops of the retail center and the sheriff’s station leaned in around me. My vision was fading out as the corners blurred and closed in. I collapsed onto the faded bus stop bench situated behind me and looked at the broken concrete under my feet, scrambling to hold on to my consciousness. The weight of March 20th pushed down on everything. Suffocating, Claustrophobic; B street threatened to swallow me whole.
In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Focus on the breath. In. Out.
I scrambled for an answer as to how this could have happened, how I could have gotten here, and the answer was obvious. Schroedinger’s USB. I couldn’t let it go, and I should have. I followed that fucking white rabbit all the way down its stupid hole and now the Queen was chopping off my head, in two months. I looked for answers and I only got two days where I had them, finally, in the palm of my hand. It turned out it wasn’t what I was looking for, as answers rarely are, but it was an answer nonetheless. I was beginning to learn to live with it. Now I did not have that option. I was going to die and I didn’t know why.
I had a feeling though, it started when I took the pizza. It should have just ended there and I could have just been full and, later, constipated, but I took it too far, and eventually an innocent man ended up in the hospital. The last few months had become like a Salvador Dali painting the more I looked at it, which I tried not to as much as possible, and although I didn’t yet know why I had to die, it fit. I had tempted fate and it decided to kill me.
An unexpected laugh burst forth – quiet and awkward – like crazy people do; which made the concerned Hispanic lady who I had not noticed at the other end of the bench get up quickly and walk away. It tied the madness and absurdity of everything together like it was planned. Like it was fate.
There was that word again. I was assured that such a thing did not exist. I was told very plainly that it did not exist, that the future could not be known ahead of time, but now I had black and white evidence on my person that all of that was utter bullshit. They had not lied to me before, as far as I knew. In fact, they had been disarmingly honest from the beginning; but telling someone that their life was their own and not tied to an expiration date is actually a very nice lie to tell someone. The deception that the things a person did with their life actually mattered in some meaningful way. That they could still change things if they wanted to.
It was absurd.
Well, there it is. I hope you liked it. Please, please, please tell me in the comments if you would read that book if you read that as a teaser. Is there anything you would change or that you didn’t like? Was there anything that you did like? I would love to hear from you.
Also, BIG NEWS! I am doing CAMP NANOWRIMO!!!
I am done messing around and I plan to finish the rough draft of this novel by the end of April. I am planning to write out 40,000 words in a month and I want to keep you all updated on the progress as you watch me stress out and panic. It should be fun. Stay Tuned!
Thank you so much for reading.