Scholastic Insanity and a Tree



I have finals coming up on my birthday. I had a couple coworkers go on vacation the last two weeks so I have been working more than usual. My wisdom tooth decided to attack the nerve in my jaw and surprise me with extreme pain at random intervals. Oh, and did I say that I have finals on my birthday. My stress levels have erupted and I am starting to show the signs of cracking. Here is an example.

I currently go to Arizona State University online where I am working on my English degree (one more semester!). I am doing well and have finally learned (as a senior) the value of time management. Life has gotten busy and tough but nothing has been as tough as the WRITING CLASS FROM HELL!

It is a lot of work. I mean the most work I have ever done for a class. We have read four 400 page novels, written 4 essays, read about 100 pages in pdfs from random areas of the internet, and written about 2,000-3,000 words a week in class discussions. This is all in a 7 week class. It has been a full time job just trying to pass this damn class. There has been many odd assignments and strange reading and interpretations as my teacher wants us to be experts on the subject and to know (and be graded on) every aspect of her subject. It has been crazy, confusing, and interesting but nothing has been more interesting than my “subject journal,” where I had to write about a subject that is close to me I could observe. Many students chose their pets, I chose a tree. And here he is, Ladies and Gentleman I would like to introduce; Frank Jr.

Full Tree

I have written about this fucking tree for two months. 12 posts in total. There is not enough words to accurately and interestingly talk about a fucking tree. But I did it, kind of. I ran out of ideas and fucks to give at the end of this semester so I decided to write the following as my last post for this stupid assignment. I posted it here for your enjoyment. I hope you like it:

Tree Watch – Day 12 (The Final Chapter)

I have grown very fond of my Longleaf Pine that I have named Frank Jr. I feel that I have gotten to know him well over this semester and that I could even call him a friend. I have spent a surprising amount of time staring at this tree, trying to come up with new ways to look at him, interpret him, discover details about him, and use any information i can to write something new and interesting about. I feel that I may have gone a little too far at one point and I started to feel like a personality came out. I could feel Frank looking back at me and judging me.

He was looking down on me for starting my homework so late. I tried to tell him that I had work and dinner to make but he saw through my excuses. You cannot get anything past Frank Jr. He has literally been around this block his whole life and has seen some things that would make saplings blush. He is wise but stoic in his wisdom. He will not offer advice unless you ask for it. He would say that “answers only come to those who ask questions?” I could picture his old face smoking with a corn cob pipe while reading a newspaper (except he does not like forest fires, so he does not smoke). He likes doing things “how they used to do it, the right way, they took their time and knew what they were doing. and if they didn’t, they would figure it out.”

~James Wilder

Categories: Dorky, Humor, Short StoryTags: , , , ,

1 comment

  1. Haha 😊 I really like Frank, he seems like a great tree! You have a great style of writing! 🙂


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